I'm just saying...

In my recent before life I had a dog and my Husband had a dog.  These were mini schnauzer's. Dad and daughter team.  My baby girl was Pepsi and had darker markings, Tucker started out typical salt and pepper and turned solid white and light gray.  Beautiful dogs, very well behaved and just a joy to my life.  When I originally thought about leaving, I was going to take Pepsi with me, well circumstances changed and for her and Tucker's well being I couldn't break them  up.  They would have missed each other too much.  I on the other hand am missing Pepsi so bad that I have some serious crying moments.  She was the dog you get once in a lifetime that just meets all your needs...she sat in my lap all day, she loved on me, she slept in either the knee-pits of my legs or right by the back of my neck.  There is a lot to be said for dogs as companions.  My son has one of Pepsi's puppies, a girl named Pearl, he said I could have her...they loved her sooo much but loved me more and would give her to me in a heartbeat.  That is one of the kindest things anyone has offered me.  I am not in a place where I can have a dog right now and it's not the right time for me to have a pet also.  But I sit and dream of her too and cry, maybe someday the time will be right again.  I love you Pepsi and Pearl and Tucker too....

My niece and her hubz have a chiwienie, she's a cutie...it took her a long time to warm up to me.  Which was very odd as she is a very friendly dog.  She even bit me, it took three weeks but we finally became friends.  Good friends we are, but she is their dog and that just makes a difference.  We play, she snuggles on the couch with me and a blanket and that helps but not much.  I will deal with it cuz I am in this position because I made the choice to leave my husband and keep the dogs together and poor Tucker would have suffered without Pepsi's company.  If you have a pet, they need to be completely a whole part of your family.  No leaving a pet outside, that's not fair.  This is my belief and I don't have the room for a pet and I believe the pet would suffer for my own selfishness.  I try not to be selfish even if it hurts or makes me cry.  I'm just saying...

Dear Family and Friends

What is going on?  I've been in depression valley for several weeks...not a fun place to go!  There was some communication between me and the former, then I wrote, what in my heart was, a humble note back that made him jump off the deep end.  So now I play the waiting game to see if his bark was real and he gets an Attorney.  I don't care, I'm done with all the concessions being on my end, I can bark too!  And now nothing until Monday...more waiting.  I'm done, been done and need for it all to be done.
It's just been one bad news thing after another.  I did get my grandson's CHRISTmas packages in the mail and I'm going to venture out and get my granddaughter's shopping done and then get those in the mail.  I do have to write out my CHRISTmas cards, I got them all made by hand and finished this week.  Why is writing in them the hard part?  I guess when you don't have a lot of good stuff to say it's hard to come up with something not depressing.  I've always worn my heart on my sleeve and face too!
Still my family is being blessed.  My daughter got a CHRISTmas bonus and a raise this year!  My handsome son-in-law is doing really well at his new job! Yeah...They are all working and are all healthy, cept my son-in-law needs to go to the Doc to check out something but we are praying it's just a cyst.  Still for the most part we are doing well.
I heard from my Aunt this week, my Mom's sister.  She had some disturbing  news about my Uncle, so we're praying for him too.  She is kinda my last link to my Mom's family.  My Mom's brother doesn't communicate with me so I'm super grateful for my Aunt checking in with me.  Besides her husband her family is doing very well.  Blessed again...
I spoke with my granddaughters on Thanksgiving and got out of them what they'd like for CHRISTmas.  That is a win win situation...they are getting so big so fast.  Their families are doing well too! 
If I could get the deed done I'd be a little happier and a little more solid. Just 3 more days til I can hear something and I hope it's in my favor...sweeeet!  So keep the prayers coming, they really do work.
With Love,